I’m blackin’ out, on my last leg/ takin’ final breaths’/ Overheard the doctor say I ain’t gonna make it, final steps/ In the zone half panickin’ half feelin’ gone. Hang on homie! My boys yellin tryna keep me goin. Little sister in the distance, I see her tears flowin. Where mommy at? She on the ground passed out cold. Aw man this is how it ends, death came quick. My God I’ll do anythang just let me live. I wanna pray but I can’t pray, I never really done it. I don’t know if I should call Christ, Buddah or Mohammed. Gettin blunted earlier this evenin now seems wrong and my brain is searchin hard for any scripture or song. I’m havin flashbacks, now I remember, it was December. I was standing on the corner pitchin rocks in the winter. Young dude ran up on me thought he was a winner but he started tryna convince me all the ways I’m a sinner.
(Man, you never understood man. You’ve lied before right? You’ve stolen before right? Man you’ve already broken two of the ten commandments man. That qualifies you as a law breaker, that’s sin man, it offends the holy and perfect and righteous God man, that’s sin, you need a savior because of the sin man. I’m just tryna break it down for you.)
Havin a hard time breathin. But I ain’t leavin until I know what I believe in. Wait maybe it was Ak on the block who was tellin me Mohammed was the rock, nah, stop.
(You know man, you know Mohammed was the truth. You know what I’m sayin? Islam is the way to go yo.)
But ain’t Mohammed die? Yeah, dawg and they buried him, that’s scary then cause I don’t know if Allah really carries men. Let’s get back to Jesus. Coughin and wheezin, this world’s full of lies man, everythings misleadin. They told me don’t be scared to die but dawg that’s ridiculous cause I don’t know what happens to me next in this predicament. It’s sickenin. God give me answers, give me clues, help me understand, who do I trust, what do I do?
(Okay we’re losin him, we’re losin him. He’s dying fast. Nurse! Help me! I need help over here. Hurry up!)
Ah, oh man. I can’t breath. I’m dyin. Can’t think. Wait, wait, Mohammed, Buddah, no, no, no, no, no, no, Jesus, Jesus. Okay, back to Christ, first he lived, then he died. Then that easter play I saw one time said he came back alive. And God so loved the world. What’s the rest of that verse? Think fast, I can’t remember, help me nurse! What’s John 3: 16 nurse? “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son… ” Gave up his only son, okay yea that’s right. So whoever believes in him wait… who turned out the lights? I’m dyin! I’m dead! No my eyes went closed. I can’t feel my feet no mo and my sides is cold. God please I’m sorry for all the wrong that I’ve done. I know I been a terrible father and a horrible son. I see it now. I wish that I could change some things in my life, I really never took the blame for things. like lyin and stealin and hurtin and dealin. I’d quit it all if your willin and let me walk out dis buildin. I wronged you I see dat I wanna give in but I ain’t really sure if you’ve forgivin my sins. Well this is it, no more discussion to do. I don’t know much but I know I should be trustin in